Top 10 Lists from PST
September 17th, 2005 by Sarin
Collection of Top 10 lists I did during PST that I posted.
Funny what your mind comes up with when you can’t sleep in the middle of the Atlantic.
US peeps, most of this stuff you will not find funny. It’s all inside jokes and you hafta experience it to laugh at it.
Sarin’s Top 10 Signs You’re ready to leave Sao Domingos
10. You actually studied for your LPI
9. You stopped having diarrhea
8. You reflect back on Dakar, and you say “oh I should probably pay that hooker a visit”
7. You’ve actually considered getting with the 14 year old bartender at the Estudante
6. You start to believe a Fanta cures everything
5. You start having “vivid dreams” of old ladies selling pastels
4. The thought of returning to Sao Domingos ever again is so painful it makes you say “oh fuck it, I’d rather just ET”
3. Your mom from calls from the states, and you start talking to her in creole
2. You become so bored with PST, that you’re actually reading this
1. You finally received your box of condoms from Carmen
Top 20 Things to Do During Your First 3 Months at site
20. Whenever someone has troubling intrepreting your bad creole, explain to them that you have “a little” malaria
19. Everytime you are an inch away from exiting your village, call your APCD. When he stops responding to your phone calls, threaten to ET.
18. When the locals continue to stare, pull out your frickin’ hair.
17. At every televised soccer game, walk into a bar and order a mineral water. Every time a team scores a goal, jump up and yell “Aww Skeet Skeet!”
16. In the middle of a full hiace, start singing the “America” theme song
15. On market Sunday, hire a local kid to create a diversion. When nobody is looking, touch all the fish.
14. Walk into a Chinese Loje, say that you represent your village and demand that you want your economy back
13. Invite all the well endowed women to your house for a party. When they all show up, play the song “Hey Mama”. Watch the irony unfold.
12. Explain to an old lady that you’ve once known a guy named “Dan Benson” back in the states
11. Go to the village nurse and explain to her what “explosive diarrhea” is.10. Go to the IRC in Praia and complain that they don’t have enough books in Creole
9. Whenever you see someone pooping in public, pop a squat next to him/her and start a conversation in Portuguese
8. When you first move in with your PC roommate, refuse to acknowledge that you’re American and know English. When he asks why your Creole is bad, punch yourself in the face and claim that you’re a slow learner
7. Step into an empty Hiace and then exit after the driver drives 2 blocks. When he asks why you’re leaving, explain to him “Oh I just love to get off”
6. Whenever you see someone walk by wearing Boston Red Sox apparrel, start chanting loudly “WHO’S YOUR DADDY!” Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap.
5. At the local pastel maker, put up a sign that says “Buy 1 pastel for the price of 2 and get the second free”. Watch as business flourishes.
4. Walk around town with a wide open mouth and pretend you’re swimming using only your hands. That way if anybody asks “moku sta?”, tell them you are “fishy”
3. Start teaching a Capoiera class. When all your students arrive for the first class, start doing jumping jacks until you faint of exhaustion
2. Everyday at 6PM take your meat outside and start punching it loudly. If anybody asks, tell them in Creole, “heck I always beat my meat before I have dinner”
1. Anytime you’re invited to dinner and the host asks why you stopped eating, point to yourself and say in English “I just farted”. The host will probably think you said “sta fartu” and will think you’re full.
Top 10 Reasons Why I’m dissapointed that I’m leaving PST (& Sao Domingos!)
10. I never got to spank Jonah’s monkey
9. I can no longer depend on getting bleached water at work to cure my obnoxious hangover
8. Haven’t fully convinced everybody that PST actually stands for Painful Shits Training
7. I don’t think Calheta has any “cool” water pumps
6. Anytime I throw up the sign for Team Paca at site, people will think I’m just a retard
5. Now is the best time to have that open session where Robert goes around and checks out our hardware
4. Brent can no longer threaten to squeeze me with his fingers
3. Movie night has not yet included a viewing of that tape I made in Dakar
2. Jende’s news didn’t require me to pay $150 Escudos an hour
1. I didn’t get a chance to wear my “I heart Sao Dao” T-Shirt
