Funny Quotes
March 1st, 2005 by Sarin
from last night’s Oscars. Courtesy of Chris Rock.
“Sit yo’ asses down!”
“Welcome to the 77th and last Academy Awards.”
“The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they aren’t mad that they lost. I remember one year when Halle Berry won the Oscar, Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance.”
On the subject of movie studios rushing out movies without any real stars.
“Why don’t some movies work? Studios make them too fast. There are only four real stars. The rest are just popular people,”
“Clint Eastwood is a star, Tobey Maguire is just a boy in tights. If you can’t get a star, wait, you want Tom Cruise and all you get is Jude Law, wait, it’s not the same thing. Who is Jude Law? Why is he in every movie I have seen the last four years? Even the movies he’s not acting in, if you look at the credits, he made cupcakes or something. He’s gay, he’s straight, he’s American, he’s British. Next year he’s playing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.”
On the topic of Fahrenheit 9/11 and president Bush.
“Can you imagine applying for a job, and while you’re applying for that job there’s a movie in every theater in the country that shows how much you suck in that job?” Rock said. “It would be hard to get hired, wouldn’t it?”
“Bush did some things you could never get away with at your job, man. … Just imagine you worked at the Gap. You’re $70 trillion behind on your register and then you start a war with Banana Republic ’cause you say they got toxic tank tops over there. You have the war, people are dying, a thousand Gap employees are dead, bleeding all over the khakis, you finally take over Banana Republic, and you find out they never made tank tops in the first place.”
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