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Top Ten Gables Proposals

September 24th, 2004 by Sarin

I enjoyed Kerry’s list on Letterman so much, I decided to make one for The Gables.

Top Ten Ways The Gables can improve upon itself

  1. APM (Assistant Property Manager) job title now legally changed to “Ass Property Manager”.
  2. Vomit and piss removal in the main hallways and elevators will no longer be billed.
  3. The rape button is now a building fire alarm, just in time for those naked laps.
  4. Your hall damage bill gets sent directly to Health Services.
  5. They allow Wendall to stay in The Gables after he graduates or gets disenrolled from the university.
  6. Convert all “01″s and “06″s into a sports or titty bar.
  7. Begin sending interest checks to everyone who paid for a $350 parking pass.
  8. From now on, Margaret can recieve a noise violation.
  9. When you lock yourself out of your room, you earn $10.
  10. Front desk now sells Jello shots instead of ice cream.
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2 Responses to “Top Ten Gables Proposals”

  1. on 24 Sep 2004 at 9:01 pm1 Phil

    LOL! I love it. For some strange reason I heavily support proposition 8 heavily…

  2. on 25 Sep 2004 at 1:20 pm2 Sarin

    Yes, the beloved rape button. Because we all know a building fire alarm would be the biggest attention grabber. You’re lucky something like that never happened to you.

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