The University of No Hope.

Details, just ask.

Ever clean up your buddy list, and then realize that it didn't make your list any shorter? For instance, I went from 198 ->167 but over 100 people are still online.

It will never clean itself up but I will still try.

Also, if it seems I am not returning IMs, not talking or going out, give me some time. Upon returning this semester, I am swamped. I just realized now how many IMs I got and didn't respond to. IM SORRY!, just give me some time.

Today was balls to the wall the most humid weather I have ever experienced.

F me for sticking around in the Gables.

Bush bashing in 30 secs and less. Pretty much sums up all the attacks on him from me and other environmentalists in my office.

"Because he is so **** ***** stupid."

You play the part,

You are the part.

(I somehow got these stupid lines in my head when I was heading into the gym. I think I was considering this because I was wearing oversized raggy clothes and feeling lazy about working out. Whereas the day before I was wearing athletic fitting clothes that look good, and was more pumped and prepared to go to the gym than this day.)

My bro just started a second job at the Ralph Lauren store in Wrentham Mass, and now I'm reaping his benefits. He gets a 40% discount and today I took advantage of it hardcore.

Earlier in the week I asked if I could bug him to get me some stuff while he was working. Instead, on his day off, we all took a shopping trip. Him and I have totally different styles, so I knew him being over my shoulder would be quite interesting. I usually shop alone, so having someone listen to my reasoning convinced me that either I a) know too much about clothes and won't admit it, b) pay too much attention to myself, c) am picky about everything so why not include clothes. Alas, all of the choices are true and I'm not going to deny anytime soon.

At the store, I shopped like I normally would, and the prices were still giving myself sticker shock. Even though I knew I was getting a discount, I still shopped conservative. Recently I have been buying clothers and wearing them once only to return them the next day because they don't fit right. Today I took my time, but even a low price on khakhis won't make me buy them because I know they just don't fit right (anything tapered will never touch my legs cuz for me it's all about straight and boot).

In the end I walked out with 2 tops, a hoodie, and a polo for $96. It would have costed me $160 if I didn't have my bro, even with the sale prices. I never drop $160 on a shopping trip, but again I never saved this much on clothes.

So if you see me rocking the Polo, don't be too suprised. Nobody else makes my dressing decisions but me, but I still approve cuz if I could I would. It's not like my mom bought them for me (cuz that's lame) but it's nice to have good friends in high places.

I have been somewhat been absent online because I have been cleaning my computer. People would probably say, oh, you're always cleaning your computer. Yes, I do. But it only takes a matter of time before it needs to be cleaned up again. My most important reason behind cleaning up, was backing up. And that slight scare that someday I might lose all of my pictures and movies.

First, I went about sorting my computer and organizing mp3s by genre. The biggest suprise now is that my mp3 album collection outsizes my downloaded singles, and that most of my singles can be deleted. But that doesn't mean I am a small mp3 listener, because I was still able to fit 3 DVDs full of songs that I don't have albums for. I was also really amazed at the size of my hip-hop collection considering I barely listen to anything older than a month.

Doing this took A LONG TIME. I sometimes have the same song in three places, maybe with different names or downloading it because I thought I didn't have it. Grr. That's one thing about having too much stuff. Anyways, I burned the mp3s to DVDs in case technology kicks the can. Alas, if my hard drive failed it's nothing I can't pull out of my backup or go to the record store and buy.

I also dusted the cover off and air sprayed the insides so all the dust is out. One thing I learn from doing that is to try never to do it in a carpeted area. I learned that from last time so I went away from that. I was able to get almost all of the dust out, and I can still say I am grateful to have an intake fan to bring cold air in to my hard drives, but it sure ends up bringing in a hoopla of dust.

Something non technology related that I found kinda neat was designing curtains. The curtains I have been using in my bedroom have been too sunlight forgiving and it is time I cut the crap on waking up at 5 am. With the new curtains in my mind, my only aim was to block light in my bedroom at the Gables. I have seen how denim works as a fabric to block light, but I was suprised at myself for actually going through with it. I measured out the dimensions that I needed, and then went to a fabric store and got denim for $10. I told my mom the exact instructions for sewing and what needed to be where and this afternoon she came back with it exactly as I imagined. I am probably gloating myself because it is indeed only a piece of fabric and my mom's sewing machine but I am just suprised that my mind would plan it out so perfectly.

I also installed Linux on my computer. This is part of my rage against Microsoft and how my time is wasted personally and work related due to the monopolistic behemoth. I am still learning how it works and I'll see how it goes from here.

My next project might include an artsy Andy Warhol worshipping poster for above the sink. #1 rule being it has to be waterproof, and #2 being that you have to think of Andy Warhol by looking at it. I'll fill you in later.

About 2 hours ago, I was at a salon and found it weird when several mommas were having a difficult time pulling, seperating and styling my hair. I guess it comes down to place having a slow morning, but more that the stylists have their own skills and styles. My hair can be a bitch, but figuring what to do with my hair while it is still too short for curls can be taken in over several different ways.

Not everyday do you have the attention of several milfs working to make you happy. But, pulling and grabbing away at me like I was a science project was rather odd.

Make sure you are early.

I got a chance to watch "Collateral", directed by Michael Mann, but I almost ruined it by coming into the movie VERY VERY late. I knew the first scene would be the most critical from what I read, but I totally flew and missed it.

But I was aware of the characters and their premises already. Jamie Foxx plays a taxi cab driver, Max, an insecure and honest taxi driver who has unfulfilled dreams. He picks Annie (Jada Pinkett Smith), a federal prosecutor and she is almost his opposite. She has worked her way to the top, but like Max, is insecure when it comes to a big case. They flirt, and get to know each other in I hope a great scene, and insecure Max checks himself by not asking her for her number. Luckily she comes back and taps her on the window.

And this is the scene I didn't see. The rest of the movie plays out like the trailers would, but from that one scene you would know how the rest of the movie would play out. "Collateral" goes into the head of all of its characters and brings it crushing down or reinvents it.

The rest of the film continues into Max's night as he picks up Vincent (Tom Cruise) and Max's night turns into the worse. Vincent pays Max to be his escort as he goes around in killings. Tom Cruise's character is excellent and doesn't flinch any weaknesses at one point in this film.

What makes "Collateral" so successful is that is not about the violence, the killings, and the thriller that it is. You may not realize it till you leave the theatre, but this movie makes you 'know' the characters. The characters interact with each other that are so believable (even through all the action) that nothing comes as suprise. Jamie Foxx puts on his best ever performance as playing as normal a person that you can get in this movie. You know Max would do the things he would do, and that Tom Cruise's character Vincent who opposed him, is as cold as you first imagined him.

This is indeed a thriller but not a cold one. Max is not your everyday guy, but you feel him. You can relate to his dreams, how he never came to it, and how he views life and the relationships with people. The same goes for even characters that show up for 1 scene or so. Vincent, doesn't know life in any other way, and he even contradicts Max's aspirations when Max has a flip over 'just a fat guy'. With their emotions and their aspirations, you know more about them than seeing them in peril of a gunfight (even though they are plenty of them). The script is tight, greatly written, with plenty of unanswered questions and roads that lead to nowhere. Combined with great cinematography of the City of Los Angeles, terrific casting and direction, "Collateral" is a great movie and step for all those involved.

Out of 5, it gets 4 stars (****).

To contradict my previous post, I am enjoying the attention that Modest Mouse is getting. They have been around for years but they didn't fully grab my attention till now. But it still sucks how now they have to compete with all other rock garbage on the radio.

I remember being a freshman in college and using Audiogalaxy, and Modest Mouse was the biggest band on that network. I thought wow, this almost unknown indie band has alot of fans. When I started getting their songs, I was put off by some of their scary songs, so I put them off for that moment. It's true, Modest Mouse scared me for quite a while.

Then "Float On" came out on their last album accompanied by a huge production music video that went straight into heavy MTV rotation. Sure, it sounds like "Float On" is a sell out song, but compared with other songs on the radio, it is flat out great. That signature riff that picks up and carries that song is an instance I wish I heard more on the radio. With rock band this and rock band that doing songs full of distortion and trying to sing bad melodies, "Float On" was a breath of fresh air.

When the album got into my hands, I have already heard the reviews. Best of their career, best of the year, alot of hype for a band just breaking it big. To me, I would have to compare it to their previous albums because they are great albums on their own right. And it succeeds in a great way. This is great exposure for a band that can back up their talents and not just sing a couple good songs for teens/ pre-teens.

In the end, all the exposure that was paid by good marketing (the really flashy music video, and the stylish cd cover) helped them alot. They got new fans (including the ones who thought this was their first album) and contradicted about what bands should be played on the radio. They have alot of credibility in my book by still making music as good as it can be.

And that is what I just wish more exposed bands can accomplish. You have people's attention, don't give me more of what I get pounds and pounds of everyday!

My car cd player is an Alpine that can play mp3 files burned onto a disc. I am able to fit hours and hours of music on one disc, and when I am driving alot I can always find music for whatever mood I am in. Currently right now I am hooked onto my country cd, but this morning I burned another mix cd of hip hop tracks. All of these tracks I found off LimeWire and are mostly remixes (I simply searched for 'remixes').

From what I am taking in, I am so blown away at how much the remix and mixtape scene has exploded in the past two years. While it was big back in 94 or 95, remixes and mixtapes are now currently the best choice for listening to new hip hop. Where else can you hear the latest Lil Jon beat or hear a song that features Eminem AND Mase. It's disappointing that mainstream people don't hear too much of the 'hot' hip hop songs out there just because they aren't being force-fed like they do with music videos.

Being force-fed media doesn't make you enjoy anything. A new artist probably takes about an extra month or so to grow on me because all the hype isn't being pushed into my nueral system. Part of what makes these hip hop tracks so good is that you're not being forced to listen to it. These artists are just doing songs to promote themselves, most of the time just having fun, and doing what hip hop is about. Community.

So if someone wants to forcefeed me bands that get too much attention just remember that alot of music comes in and out of my ears (this could mean bands like the new creed, or the new guns and roses) because I heard too much about them. I just hope someday someone will be able to respond if I ask them, "Hey did you hear that new Kanye remix?"

I might just dumb it down for them and be like, "Did you ever hear the live version of that song? Oh, it's so great!"

But I'm not just player hating on pop or rock. It took me a good year to get into 50 Cent after all the hype went down, concluding that his last album is VERY GOOD. Sadly the hype will get to his head and now he will just plain suck.

A few issues ago, TIME magazine ran a cover story on Vegas and how much of it has changed in the past 5 years. In summary, I think what they mentioned is that Vegas has become popular in recent years due to blooming non-gambling entertainment in addition to poker games becoming a huge hit on cable TV.

The article gave a small pointer on how to play Texas Hold 'em, a popular version of poker played on the cable shows. Most people my age never learned this game, or are just starting to learn it. It's popularity is starting to hit my generation as most of us are not accustomed to Vegas or playing for chips. Texas Hold 'em struck my attention as to how easy it was to pick up (granted I already know poker hands), but since the rules are slightly different, in my opinion, makes it even harder to get good at.

If anybody at college is down for a night of Texas Hold 'em, I am definitely down. I have been playing online, but I think real competition could be a 'new' thing for us kids to do. Let's do it up and improve our bluffing skills.

When I got a chance to watch the Paris Hilton sex dvd, I put it on fast forward at about 32x speed to cut the crap. But the crap was done before I could even get to anything good. Unless you want to see an occasional boob and lots of missionary for about an hour, I don't advise anybody to ever blow their load, or wallet on this disc. They also loaded the disc with promotional scenes from the studio who released it, making it seem as if you bought a disc full of marketing.

At least I know I can count on Kazaa for the Pamela Anderson or the R. Kelly sex tapes. Crazy, crazy world.

The chief goes, "Now, do you have anything pending that we need to discuss?"

It was a Monday afternoon and it was then that I got reminded of school.

"Just a heads up, that next Friday will be my last day", I replied.

Next Friday is all it is. That is less than 2 weeks my friends. Come the 28th I will be moving back in. And two weeks from today I should be having my first classes as a senior. So that brings up the issue. Where the hell did summer go?

"Well time flied now, when you're having fun?" she goes.

I smirk, very fakely and go, "Yes it does".

But that's not quite the issue. Summer has been a big blur. I didn't go on any long trips, I didn't have any horrible drinking experiences, I did't do the beach at all, didn't attend any big name concerts, didn't complain too much about the heat, didn't read enough, and didn't work on any long projects. I feel like I am basically coming back to school as if I had a really long work filled weekend.

But the talk is beginning to brew. Who's living where, who moved out, who moved in, who's the new person and who's getting silly ass drunk on the first weekend. It's great excitement to see what will happen in the Gables. Silly how it works, you move in, bam, you got a sea load of friends. And it's hard to ever leave.

Who gives a dud what happened this summer, for the time is now. For your information, I will be returning to C404 Gables with the same apartment setup minus Jon Drake. Dave Dillon from down the hall is my new roomie, and lack of funds this summer has kept me from buying any new toys for the apartment. Most importantly, the Wildcat table and all the music will not be forgotten.

404C 4 lyfe doggs.

The funniest moment from this weekend wasn't when the flashlight fell into the lake (I really forgot why it was so funny at the time). It came the next morning/noontime when I came across something that I have never come across ever. A family of geese crossing the road.

I saw my first deer in NH, and now I can say I saw my first geese crossing in NH, and man they are a wicked bunch. For instance, geese can't comprehend that you're wheels will ever kill them, never mind the fact that it is probably hard for them to ever walk backward. Which makes it very very funny. You come roaring down the road at around 50, brake hard when you see a family of geese doing the Crip walk, you laugh a little bit and honk at them to try and speed them up, and they just cock their head and stare as if your crazy.

Now I am waiting for the day when I'm driving and I see a bear try and do a Crip walk down the street, or even better, try and do that dance from that "Jesus Walks" video.

I think I about had it with high school peeps, Cranston and RI. There are so many things in RI that I wish I could get to do, but seemingly never will because of pussies who can't make up their mind. I'm almost starting to say that old friends are even starting to hold me back.

I try to keep my life in check. I know I value spending time with friends and them spending time with me. To me, that is a high priority. A priority where the tired excuse to pull out from something is only when my body is physically run out. Not just some lame ass excuse for my selfish ways. Shit the other day I was sitting in the shower afraid to move because my chest was feeling inflamed from working out. What did I do? I popped in some Tylenol and went out like I said I would. In fact, I still drank knowing I wasn't supposed to.

Maybe I won't understand. Maybe people just don't want to look tired in front of their friends and rather delve into the drivel. Maybe I am too used to working full time days, working out moderately heavy at the gym, and still have time and energy to see people. To me, the drivel is a sorry excuse. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I don't.

Maybe we are all too lazy. I know doing so much in a day makes sleep go by easier. But getting off your butt to do something is so much harder for people than to just say it. Maybe it is true in that everyone I know in Rhode Island still lives with their parents. Indeed it is not a maybe, it's all very true. Easy? No. How about lazy? Probably more fitting. I'm 21, yet only in Rhode Island do I feel that I am too mature for my age.

Rather than bitch and whine about the laziness and forward mobility of RI peeps, I would have to just think to myself. I am 21, in one year, I don't know where I will be. Maybe taking a break, maybe slaving over some office space. But damn do I look forward getting away from all the negativity of some of my old peeps. By next summer, hopefully I will move on and get away from this place.

Hopefully, someone will beat me to it.

I was watching some of the Kill Bill Vol. 2 DVD that came out, and I was sort of glad not to buy it. Normally, I am really really strict that you should never buy a DVD because it has lots of extras (these are movies, people), but this time I know it is better to wait.

The fans waited a long time before Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and Jackie Brown came out on DVD and they gave the movies so much more value because they were reissued. I'm still not a big fan of extreme special editions, but for a Quentin movie, I know a double dip will be worth the wait.

Another double dip I will be looking forward to is Goodfellas from Martin Scorcese. Goodfellas and of course Kill Bill Vol. 2 are personal favorites.

Fell in love with this ad.

Rock.

Somwhat enjoyed my three day weekend, although I can almost guarantee everybody in Rhode Island stayed in. I originally wanted to have a getaway, but sincerely, I live in Rhode Island, and it is hard to ever get anybody to get out.

I buckled down on Thursday, not wanting to go out and not even dressing for the part. However on Friday, I took to myself to go to the gym for the 5th time that week, considering I did not want to go at all during my 3 days off. On that visit, I let all the weight slide down my bad wrist when I was setting them down on a shoulder press. This is the same wrist I sprained last year at my car accident, and the wrist that was hurt when move in time last fall because I was off of my painkillers. At that point, there was no way I was doing any more arm excercises because it only gets worse. Plus the three days off would be good time for the whole body, wrist included, to rest off.

I didn't expect to go out Friday, but I did. McFinnegan's on Westminster coulda been good if there were actually other patrons there at all. What was nice though is that they lined up the street with lights high above from building to building, so it's like a block party atmosphere when you're walking through. Alot better than walking down the street and not being able to tell who's a hobo or not.

I was able to tell that everywhere in RI was a dull night because at 12 or 12:30 people started high tailing it to Thayer for some food and calling it a night. The group I was with did the same, and it was the first in a great while that I got to eat wings from Wings 2 Go.

Saturday was my most eventful day for sure. An old friend Kiet Vu (that's his actual name) woke me to remind me that I earlier planned to go camping with him and another old friend Mike Moran. Part of the reason he was calling was because he needed a ride anyway, so I packed up my cooler with beer and we headed to a day camp off Rt. 44 in Chepachet.

Mike showed us a good time. Kiet played drunken baseball, we got to play some volleyball, and I actually went canoing for the first time. For a newbie, I was suprised at how easy it was to keep the canoe from tipping, but very suprised that my back can be fatigued at my 'in shape' shape.

Pretty soon although, due to circumstances beyond my control, the whole party at the daycamp got kicked out and I had to look for more sources. And I am horrible at keeping or making plans. Earlier in the week I told Lauren that we would go see a movie. My other problem came when Ron called me for the movie that I also suggested to him the day before. Turns out me and Lauren were to never go see a movie, so we never got hang out with Ron. Plus I couldn't join in Jay Ward (Happy Birthday guy) festivities because I was going to be nowhere near Cranston.

So Lauren and her friend Kate took me to somewhere near Harborside but changed plans somehow. That's ok though because whoever had the idea to go to the new MacFadden's gets a thumbs up. It's basically the newest hippest Irish bar but it doesn't get the full two thumbs up because they don't play any booty shaking music at all.

On our way out, Kate had the hardest damn time getting out of her parking spot and it literally took us 20 minutes to get her out of her spot because at most we had 10 inches of clearance. Then Lauren had the perfect reaction as well when she ran a through a Do Not Enter sign in the middle of Broad.

I went to bed really tired that day knowing that I started drinking really early, and I was god tired from moving around all day.

And yesterday afternoon, I got my other ear piereced. So now I got matching white gold studs that won't cause me to itch myself to death. So far nobody has noticed that I got an extra ear done. It makes me wonder why I bothered to only get one down back in March.

To remember anything from this weekend just yell the stupid question 'You got kicked out for camping?'

Today Rhode Island gets to celebrate Victory Day, an almost useless and should be done away with holiday. We're one or maybe the only one in the union who still celebrates it, but it's nice to have an extra holiday in the summer.

Plus being a state employee means I can take this day off and still get paid.

Pretty sweet.

FYI

The Case Against George W. Bush - by Ron Reagan

Orinally published in Esquire.

Another reason why I enjoy reading Esquire over any other men's magazine. Also check out the rest of Mr. Moore's site.

This story takes place a couple of weeks ago.

On a Friday morning I was assigned to obtain a signature on a highly classified document from a highly classified person. Well not really classified, but I guess high level. The secretary in the office who I have known for 3 summers offered to give me a ride up to the capitol buildings for the people that we needed to see.

To start off, we will call this lady's name C. C knows the job well, and I usually listen to everything she says, and since I am so young, vice versa. C is lovable and is virtually the whole building's grandmother. She knows everybody very well, has fun at her job, and she's always in a good mood. Particularly, since she in the same office, we share alot of time. It is a pleasure that I get to work with her in such close vicinities.

Riding with her up the hill was a joy in her nice somewhat new Honda Civic. It probably even looks alot cooler than the natural gas vehicled I would have to man if I drove myself. When we arrived, we were suprised that we found a parking spot right by the door, albeit C does have a handicapped pass, but the excitement meant that she could leave the car and join me inside as well.

The first building we entered was a health building. It looked exactly like a health building would look like. Very 80's, smelly, janitors and guards always working, and basic ugliness in order to keep operation costs down.

We took our elevator flight up to the second floor, but C soon realized that we basically went into the wrong building. She had the associations mixed and the person we needed to see, was in a completely different apartment. However, we were only one building away from where we needed to be.

C doesn't like walking too much. I try to keep her mind of the walking by perking up good conversation. As I held open the door her out of the building she asked if I was the gentleman to the ladies.

"I guess so, I open the doors and escort them places where they want to be."

"Yeah that's good, girls like a man who does those things..."

"I make them feel safe."

"listen, you're gonna have to get older and you're gonna have to spoil your girls. Do you spoil your girls now?"

As C is quite the talker, she will always find something to talk about. The nice guy I am, I am always listening. Also, she will always bug me about girls because what she sees is a shy guy who is so polite that would do whatever any girl said. In reality she doesn't see how excited I get when I check out somebody, anybody down the hallway of our drab and visitorless office. She also doesn't know much about what a weird love life I have had so far.

To her question I responded on a funny note, "No."

She looked at me with an amusingly shocked face. At this point in our relationship I could lie about everything I say about women and she would probably believe me.

"Are you kidding me?"

From her facial expression I could tell that even though she heard it, she didn't want to believe it.

"No, I'm not kidding you, I think my girls spoil the hell out of me."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, to me it seems."

"And why is that?"

"Because if I have to put up with their shit, I sure as hell deserve alot back. And I do."

She shrugs her shoulders in slight disapproval.

"I treat them well, take them places. Sometimes I am the only guy. Sort of like an escort. Girls feel fine with me, I don't intrude on their everyday life and they tell me things that they would normally tell other girls. I'm a good guy."

"Well at least you treat them well, and yes sometimes you deserve getting something for putting up with woman. Yanno, princesses these days."

I laugh a little as we reach our next destination as I open the door and its business as usual. I ponder my words again although it already came out of my mouth. I do believe sometimes I get really nice treatment from my female friends. It makes me wish a girl who barely knows me treats me the same way these girls would. That would be a good life. But we all know the reality. Girls don't know me and are afraid to ask.

Throughout the rest of our task, I kept thinking that 'getting to know me' was one of the best perks of being a friend, but also a huge obstacle to get over if I was interested in someone. And that if I was interested in someone, that they would have to get over that 'getting to know me' part quick before they become too much a friend and spoil me.

We got our signatures, and at the end of our task, and because it was a Friday, on the way back to the office, C made a stop for coffee. We stop, wait in line and she asks me if I want a coffee.

"No thanks, I had coffee back at the office."

"How about a coffee roll? Those look good."

"Nah"

"Oh you are so cheap." She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. I smile and nod.

"Can't even have any food with me. (sigh)"

What she didn't realize, and I didn't mention it to her, was that she was committing the 'spoiling' act like we talked about earlier.

I thought it was kind of ironic.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

THE VILLAGE / * (PG-13)

HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE / *** (R)

The Village gets 1 star, and Harold & Kumar get 3.

All is good in Hollywood.

Doom 3 - In Stores Now -Lunabean.com - Video Game News

Looks like I might want to actually purchase a PC game this time and see how well this title stacks up. From what I heard though, everything ranks up a 7, but the graphics have unanimous at 10. Should I purchase a game simply on industry changing graphics alone? I know Half Life 2 will soon come in and give FPS and gut check in reality physics. I'll give it try before I buy it I guess.

9 New GTA: San Andreas Screenshots -Lunabean.com - Video Game News

Here's also some more visuals of GTA: San Andreas.

The summer started with a somewhat bang. I was going out alot, and running up a huge debt because of it. I was a regular clubber, and almost never turned it down because it was a good time and weather to go. It was fun, really fun. At the time I didn't have a big responsibility for working and I wasn't working out regularly. But then time had to buckle down and I had to drob my debt and drop my gut.

But the weather has turned sort of ugly. Ugly hot days with thick depths of humidity doesn't make me want to think of anything less than air conditioning. When I take the stairs at work I dread having a hot coffee because I will start dripping sweat just sipping it. I hit the gym, and even the sweat drops in buckets when I'm barely pushing my hardest. This past weekend has been the worse it felt, as houses are now accustomed to the heat and are actually holding it in, making each day worser than the last.

Also, in addition to summer not giving us the weather we want, it seems as if people are slowing things down for the worst. I have had good weeks earlier this week. Turns out this week was a great indication that the good days may be behind us.

I can't expect summer to be good all the time, but I guess it is at the point where summer is no longer new. I myself am always tired. Working full time, going to the gym almost every workday, and staying up on the computer, I don't even have time to watch tv anymore. To lots of us, this season has hit its boring peak, and we can't wait till it's over and we head back to school. I know for sure I will.

The attitudes I feel aren't shared just on my behalf. I don't even think about drinking sometimes because I don't want to look like a drunk idiot in front of everybody. I can't expect the fun I have at UNH, maybe because people are just taking it slow. Parties I have been to haven't been really memorable and it has been causing me to not update pics because of lack of excitement.

I know it may seem weird to you all, but reality is I am just getting bored. Maybe summer is a time to catch up on the things you put off doing during the regular year. The time that I have with summer, I shouldn't be doing the same as I was during school. Reading and going to the gym is what I consider my offseason. I should *keep* it that way.

So on that note, I have Monday off for victory day, and I am wondering if anybody wants to do something 'summerish'. I don't want to do average partying unless it feels like a summer party because I can go to school and throw better.

I'm thinking long days at places unknown. I dunno, I'm up for alot, but it should not involve a huge sausage fest. Just leaving to go somewhere almost seems like a sad excuse to take pictures and have that excitement of coming home and posting them up.

But that would be nice, wouldn't it.

Because of summer slowing down, and me not caring too much for anything except Blogging, I haven't done much for the photos. For all those who complained about lack of photo updates, I finally caved in and actually did more than expected. To me, it is like I guess people will never bother me to update entries, but will bother me to death to see those pics of last weekend.

In this update I'm giving you more than expected, not like you would seem to notice anyway. I changed some fonts around, and added a 'back' link on the image page. This will all you nuts who don't know how to use the backspace key or who don't have an extra button on their mouse.

I also scrapped the videos because they got in the way, and have made a seperate page for them. Sorta like a multimedia fest. Some of them are pretty funny, but nobody seems to care too much for them.

And last but probably the most coolest, I dug through my files and found pics from my hard drive that are sort of like a 'flashback' before digital cameras were popular. I found some stuff that other IMers sent me, and some stuff with Justin that is quite cool. It is quite amusing and you might recognize some thing here or there.

So go on and ignore me, because you already have.

Finally got paid from DEM and I dramatically reduced my debt calculator. Sure enough, it will go back up soon, I can tell.

What brings this debt so high considering I work more than some people? My only answer would have to be I spent way too much more than I thought I was worth. I worked 2 jobs for 2 months, and I worked durig winter break. It was 'decent' money, but I spent it like it was alot. Having cash on hand on some occasions and a credit card, meant I wasn't saying no to alot of things. But I know how it works now.

I was charging ridiculous shit to my card, and I wasn't paying for it the minute it came in. It's very easy to do and being young keeps you very impulsive. I was also spending way too much money at bars, maybe overcelebrating my birthday too much. I also did spend around $700 on my spring break, and later paid for the rest of my flat screen TV.

If you look at my withdrawals and debits, it's almost a big blur. There are many instances where I wonder why I took out 'that much' money out of the ATM and why I didn't help pay off my debt sooner. But, I guess I am one step closer so I shouldn't worry too much.

So if you ever wonder why I spend alot of time being broke, just remember it is because I have overspent myself having fun, at an earlier time. I have more than several groups of friends, so if I seem broke because of you, it's not. It is because of me overspending when I'm with all my other friends, and then overspending on me of course.

I hate being a broke ass bitch.