29 July 2004
HaHa
My old roommates just called me and I heard like 4 of them at the same time. At least half of them were drunk.
This is the first time I have laughed today. I guess it was right not to worry about something so small.
404c 4 lyfe.
Senseless
Of course my car's rims and tires got stolen from my car in my own driveway of my house. Plenty of this does not make sense. Although it will take me to tell you that alot of it does.
Why it doesn't make sense
* At my house there is a motion detector that shines A light directly in the direction of where my car was parked. I parked in the backyard, and not in the garage. THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN GET TO MY CAR WITHOUT SETTING OFF THE MOTION DETECTOR.
* My car is in CLEAR VIEW of the street. This isn't average your average suburbia, my street has street lights that stay on all night. If I backed out my car and miss the street curb, I could hit the street light. Sometimes I have. Whoever did this, had lots of balls because if the police ever came flying by, all it takes is a flashlight to shine in on the suspect.
* There is less inactivity in the driveway than other places. I sometimes go out and come back around midnight. My brother is the same way. At 1:30am my dad comes home from work. At 3:30 am my brother leaves for work. At 7 my moms leaves for work. And at last I leave for work around 8, and if my brother's girlfriend is staying over, she leaves when she wants. You see, PEOPLE GET UP AND GO TO WORK, so there isn't quietness for long periods, but probably enough to rip off a tire. Whoever did this, incorporated this into the plan.
* It was a full house last night. Not at any point last night were there ever LESS THAN 4 CARS. At the most there were 6, one for all of us, and then my old Accord which is being worked on. All of us were in the house, mostly sleeping. Again, whoever hatched this, were planning around our arrival departure times.
* Whoever did it, left their STUPID JACK ON MY CAR. What smart criminal does that?
Why it makes plenty of sense
* I hate to admit it, but my house is 1 street away from the ghetto. I'm legally 4 blocks away from South Providence, not the best place to live. I believe my street begins the gutter towards where Rhode Island turns bad. I truly hate where I live. Most people live in communities where it is safe to know your neighbors and leave the door unlocked. Not mine. I consider alot of the people around here pretty poor and I'm sure my house family isn't alot. I don't know my neighbors and I really don't care for them. I look outside the window now and I can see four 3 story apartment buildings. That's 12 places where from where I am sitting, I could shoot out their window. Most people don't have to live around other tall buildings, most of them ridiculously ugly colors. Sadly, I do. Now I can't look at anybody walking down the street without glaring at them because I consider them all suspects. They don't have much going for them, and in the act they just did, whoever, made alot more in an hour than I sometimes make in a week.
* My car's wheels are just desirable. They are seven spoke premium alloy wheels direct from Honda. If you don't understand that, here it is for simple terms. The rims themselves are nice all year round rims. They don't come standard, and since they are alloy, you have to pay extra if you wanted them in your car. That's one reason why they are desirable. Another reason, Hondas are hot. People, who are into consumer car racing are big Honda fans. My mom likes them because of their rock solid reliablity but doesn't realize their huge mass youth appeal. Because of their reliability it is hard to find these stock rims unless someone is trying to sell them for profit. Sure enough, they just took mine.
* I got sick of my alarm and so had everybody else. I can remember the time when me and Jon cut the wires to the alarm because it was glaring the hell out of us at a parking lot. My brother doesn't have his on, and none of my parents do. In our neighborhood, one alarm wakes up probably 15 or 16 households because they are so many close together. It's either that or when the occasional motorcycle speeds down the street. Here, alarms don't make sense. Whoever did it, realized that my alarm will never go off.
So there, to me it's not that big of a surpise no more. Many things have been stolen on or around where I live. Once my brother played a prank on a friend and left a bike in the middle of Broad St. It wasn't there when we went back in 5 minutes. In '95, my brothers bicycle got stolen from the neighborhood library, locked up and chained and all. Back in 1996, my friend's bike was stolen from my porch while we were watching tv in the living room (realize that in my house you can always hear when someone is on the steps in half the rooms in my house and that is why nobody uses the doorbell). In '98 my other friends car stereo got ripped off his minivan when it was parked directly in front of my house. I'm sure there's more but I can't or don't want to remember.
But the idea still sure gets on my nerves. What kind of a person are you if you need the $400 dollors that much that you have to stalk my frickin house. There is no limit what we would do to you if any of us in this house would have ever caught you. Even my mom is not scared to pull out a knife and gut you out. We have lived in worse and we don't stand for that shit.
Bring it on asshole.
Why me
I'm really tired of today.
It's like the day has just been soo long, that I shouldn't be wasting my time even writing about it. Because this won't make things better.
At 7 o' clock this morning, I woke up and started the day as usual. Nothing seemed different about this morning until I left my house to go to work. As I was walking towards my car in the driveway I found it kind odd that the ass of my car was sticking up. Once I got closer, it became easy to see what happened. Last night, someone jacked up my car on one side and STOLE MY TIRES AND WHEELS right off.
It didn't hit me right away at the suprise, it could have been a legitimate reason. Maybe I was sleeping and thought this was all a dream. But when I went back inside and told my parents what happened, the look they gave me was the look I should have gave them when I told them what happened. The truth was, I was just simple tired to accept the truth.
So it happened, and there wasn't much I could do about it now. I took my mom's car to work, and called my parents to make sure they called the police and such. No luck so far. I wasted anger towards nothing this morning when I was pushing my parents for more police interrogation when all they could do was already done.
It wasn't until after lunch, that I realized I was wasting my anger. There isn't much I can do in this situation and it's really sobering to say that this isn't the worse that could happen. Those two tires mean nothing to me. The car now is back sitting on 4 wheels (albeit, not the same 4 wheels as it was the day before) and will be back on the road soon. I've lost worse and I've kept the stuff that has been more important to me. If it would have been my stereo, I would have been really pissed. If they took my CDs out my car, I would rip too.
So I am looking light in this situation. It could be worse, it's not the end of the world. It's sure another stupid crap that I have to deal with, but this is surely nothing.
28 July 2004
Some movies I have seen
The current movie sales and renting industry is making it hard for me to finish this list. Why do we keep rushing out the same new movies for more and more features?
I remember a time people bought VHS because the movie was good. Now, it's all about extras. I could care less though.
101 and still counting
This is entry #101.
3 months have passed since I started writing in this blog. In those months, I have learned more about my abilities as a person. In this case, I have found a renewed and rekindled interest in writing. In my time alone, it is just great to be myself. I write most of these entries thinking and knowing that I myself am my own biggest fan. I know you're probably laughing at that aspect, but what I mean is that I guess I take this stuff sort of serious.
Back when I was only running my site full of pictures, I felt that I had more to give to people than just pictures. The original site was garnering alot of traffic. But hey, it was only drunk pictures and the occasional boob shot. It was getting attention way more than I expected, but it was pulling attention away from me. People still didn't know me better (more on that in a sec) but they were seeing alot of my life. It made me a whore for attention. I can tell you, that I just wanted more.
I just wanted that if people were here and thinking about me, that they wouldn't just look at my site and think I am all just parties and girls. The fact that you are reading this sort of redeems myself. There are so many sides of me as a person that I just want everyone to see. Pictures can only say so much, so I felt I was so much more than that.
So I figured I would write, and then most guaranteed, you would read it. Is there proof? You wouldn't have read this, if you didn't follow.
Another reason, I have been reaching out, is because of the nature of how I do things, I have too many good friends, and far too many acquantacences. I can't reach out to everybody to let them know me better, because sometimes I just don't hang out enough to let you know me. I am an individual who never plans ahead. When the weekend hits, I take as it comes. With the amount of friends I can try to contact, I usually end up doing something. And it's quite easy to figure it out too. Just think, when was the last time that I asked you to go somewhere? That's right, I am just full of my own options.
So I wrote, so people could get to know me better. I started and then
I got way pulled in because of the enormous resources and spread that a weblog makes. I dunno what motivated me to write so much. I look and read the first post that I wrote, and at the time, I had so much I wanted to put out there, that it ended up being way disorganized. Blogging has definitely been a great improvement towards my writing, as I know 'my style' alot better than I did back at the first month's entries.
In some respects, I have written stuff that I know others would like. Keeping that balance, of writing for myself, and writing for others have kept things in check for both parties. Also, this new 'blogging' came at a really great time. Considering after turning 21, life hasn't been the same. I am still not that big of a drinker, but that just 'growing older' and writing about my feelings is helping me establish that link of finally becoming an adult.
I'm going along with this. For my own purposes, here are some steps that I will try to remember to follow when I'm writing in this. Feel free to have them influence you as well.
- Always read and double check your entries. There have been so many times that I have changed an entry because I wrote like a fricking tool. Always read your entries aloud, and see if it sounds 'alright'.
- Paragraphs are your friend. I can't stress this enough! The reason why I skip over other people's blogs is simply because they don't use paragraphs. Please, be mature and make things easier on the eyes to read.
- Stick to your topic. Catagories help. A 100 lil' posts read alot better than 2 long ones.
- Know your limits. I try not to delve into stuff I don't know too much about, or would rather not talk. I could tell you about my personal life, but I already live in a world of E! Don't believe me? Just think of all the things you heard about me, from others. Not my call. I attact attention to myself, but bad news spreads faster than good. Save yourself the trouble.
- Peak your topics. I have found the best reads fall between the completely useful, and the completely useless. One is for intellect, and the other is for humor. Is you have to write about something dull, just please perk it up.
- Don't dive in the middle. This is almost like the last one. If you think of a bell curve and invert it so the ends are peaks, try not to write about something in the middle. Alot of teenage LiveJournals dwell in simple times of between happy and sad and that is why I tend to skip over them. Again, like the last one, readers don't want to hear average everyday stuff. Write about something extreme, Useful or not.
- Short and sweet or long and lengthy. Some things are great reads when they are right to the point. Some you just wish were read like a novel. Most of the stuff so far have been short and sweet, but occasionally since I visit wilwheaton.net alot, I like to detail myself.
- Always ask yourself stupid questions. Big, big big. This is a problem I tend to do alot. Just think if who, what, when, where, why, how. This ends up beefing things up, and makes sure that you don't confuse yourself a year from now.
- Keep 'em hungry. Everybody wants more and more. Give it to them fast. It's always a little frustrating to check on someone, and then be a little dissapointed. Write about something fresh, something noone has touched yet. Better yet, switch up your style and keep the readers guessing.
- Keep notes to yourself. Before I even started a blog, I thought up 6 entries that I wanted to get attention, but when the time came, I lost it. No matter where, try and remember those topics in your head. Write 'em down. When you get home, you will tell which ones are worth writing about. One time I was delirious off coffee and wrote 3 entries out of 6 I orignally thought were something.
- Don't follow. Just because everybody else is writing like they are in 6th grade doesn't mean you should to. Express yourself, remember how analytical other people are. You ARE what YOU WRITE.
- Just let it come to you. This is my favorite. I think the best entries are already written in your head. If your mind can magically put phrases together and memorize them by the time you write, it HAD to be written. This list here, developed in my head and stayed for days and days. Most of the humor entries, also, developed in my head. This is a great exception, to the double check rule.
Here's to another 100.
26 July 2004
I just had to
To get any attention these days (ahem, Lohan) you have to let the twins out.
I just had to.
Please support Blender and buy their magazine.
This is also my 100th post since April.
Yay for my popularity and more good things to come.
Workout Schedule
This is my two day workout schedule that I alternate between days at the gym so I don't work the same muscles two days in a row. I had this in my head, but I always kept forgetting it, because simply in my head, it was too 'rough'. I'm writing this down because I tend to hit the gym and forget everything way too "easly". I know I spelled easily wrong, but everybody else and I have been pronouncing it wrong. Anyway,
Day 1I hope this time I won't forget and end up looking confused at a gym I've been going to for months. Then again I do live near the red light district, so I can't look too dumb.Day 2
- 18 - 20 min. Cardio
- 3 sets military presses
- 3 sets leg presses
- 3 sets seated rows
- Abdominal excercises
- 3 sets bicep curls
- 19 - 20 min. cardio
- 3 sets chest presses
- 3 sets leg curls
- 3 sets lat extensions
- 3 sets ankle lifts
- Abdominal excercises
25 July 2004
Great Donnie Darko Writeup
Salon.com Arts & Entertainment | Everything you were afraid to ask about "Donnie Darko"
Such an awesome piece on an unrecognised movie. I hope I get a chance to catch the Director's Cut this time around. Don't forget to also read Everything you wanted to know about "Mullholland Drive" & Everything you wanted to know about "Memento", also from Salon.com. Another analysis, of two other great movies, and some of my favorites.
23 July 2004
Beat Phil
I think it is safe to say Phil commented more than anybody else this week except for the wealthy contribution by Justin of 1. Here's to his gloatin' honor.
This photo was not doctored up in any way
Somebody for the sake of competition, just try and beat him.
Speak of the Devil
The other day I was in a air conditioned room and thought it was very cold. My friend (who I have NO sexual relationship with) walks up and starts chatting. My head was locked directly in front of a computer and I haven't by that point laid my eyes on her. So, we're shooting the shit and she's about to leave to go outside and then I am like
"I hope it is not as cold as it is outside as it is here."
Right then, I made visual contact with my friend but couldn't help but stare at her rock hard pointy cold nips popping through her shirt. But of course I couldn't stare long because I noticed that she was staring right at me with the biggest gosh darnest smile I have seen that day. But that smile couldn't match the size of those cold hard nips.
What's ironic is that, if I did have sexual relations with this friend, is that my one-liner would have been a great joke.... after seeing cold hard nips and letting the other party know politely.
But speak of the devil, it came at a great, but wrong time.
I continued to laugh to myself for hours.
22 July 2004
Not easy, to just do nothing
I started going to the gym earlier this month, and at the time it was easy to just wing it and lift. When I was at school I only went to the gym probably twice a week, but that was better because I was able to rest most of it off. Once I started working again, I got back into the habit of going to this gym that I went to last summer, and things usually start off fine.
The first week was alright, because it only gave me discomfort after I lifted, natural body adjustment. Then I got broken in, and didn't get sore after workouts. Then after that I started getting sore in the middle of a workout. It was easy to figure out that I wasn't resting enough.
In my head I'm used to lifting hard, but I probably didn't leave enough room for rest. I think the three week break in period was delayed simply because I don't sleep enough and I try not to take days off in between. Except for the weekend, I told myself to make it an effort to be there everyday, and soon I would start losing these pounds.
After week 3 I am still sore and physically tired because I spend more time in the gym than I should considering my almost non physical condition. I have an office job, so to spend that hour of the day killing myself does not adjust easily. I have a second wind at night, so I forget to go to sleep early...which I need because I could feel my muscles feel one step better the next morning. But I kept sleeping in, night after night, because I am such a night owl. Heck, I am even bound to do it tonight because I don't know any better.
Back towards the end of May, my only explanation as to why I suprisingly lost my gut was because I was sleeping alot. Hey I had nothing to do, and I didn't have a job.
With that suprising change I could only think that I did nothing, and it worked. My body was just running along the system, and the sleep gave it enough time to just burn stuff away. I really did nothing.
But it's hard to just do nothing these days. By the time the day is somewhat over, I eat, shower and the night begins all over again. At that point it is probably 7 o clock and sleep should come sometime soon. I want to sleep, but I really would want to do something else.
Why is it so hard to do just nothing and sleep?
9 11 Commision report
You know something is really important if there's a link to it directly on the Yahoo main page.
Download the 9/11 Commission Report
Of course, if you prefer a hard copy, you might be able to get it at your local bookstore.
21 July 2004
Bashing Bush Bashers getting ridiculous
Celebrities declare own war - on Bush (USATODAY.com)
USATODAY.com - In what's shaping up as one of the nastiest presidential races in decades, Bush-bashing is turning into an en vogue celebrity sport.
Personally, I think some people should leave the celebs alone. People bash people all the time, but when it comes to a celeb, you better keep yer mouth shut.
I can't understand why people take great offense to an opinion. The only time you should feel angry, or even to get angry, is when you have an opportunity to counterpoint, and not just be like 'Oh, they don't know what they're talking about, ahma' peace on this piece'.
Throwing your cocktail at a musical artist does not make you a better American. If you're an adult, you should know better than that.
20 July 2004
Lack of personality
From recent entries and the context of total entries thus far I conclude that there has been a lack of personal stories or feelings in this 'somewhat' personal blog. Most often something will happen that I don't want people talking about. Considering my huge list of 'just acquantances' this stuff happens too often. I think part of me doesn't lie and tells it how I see it, not thinking how it will sound 10x amplified. But when writing in a journal/ blog, because of it's nature, it would reach everybody.
In thinking this over, I guess the personal in 'personal weblog' can just be left out. It is not necessary for everybody and everybody who doesn't know alot about me to know what type of personal crap I have dealt with, or will be dealing with. For the time that you are here and/or thinking about me, I want it to be in a positive way. If you want to know how complicated things are, shoot me a line. You could probably say I'm making a big deal and your right. I probably blow myself out of proportion more than anybody, with my own head running tabloid headlines.
For the simple reason of writing about personal frustration is why I opted not to run a LiveJournal. Because the whole word 'journal' is just so personal that the writer tends to write for himself, and not think if his/her readers would really want to read what goes on screen. My advice to those who keep one, get rid of that whole 'journal' aspect out of your head. Noone keeps a 'true' journal that I would want to read and think about, because noone wants to cut that deep. So when someone writes bad things, even just to vent, after the last 5 entries did the same, I and soon you stop caring to read.
I'm not attacking anybody in particular. Just thinking about several things that I try to avoid when posting to this blog. I am 21, and not in high school anymore. I need to learn how to write better, but how could I do that if I keep a journal that I don't even proofread, and then forget to BREAK UP MY PARAGRAPHS. I usually stop reading if things start to look the same, and then I scare myself because sometimes I do it too.
I am always concerned with readability, style, speed, the look of something. Less is more sometimes but how can you have great overall without great content?
I can profoundly confess that the best entries I could post to this site, for a good story/ insight into myself I haven't written yet. Should I not care that the other person who reads it concerns him / her? Should I care that "personal", takes care of itself, and that I would be somewhat a 'Dashboard Confessional' for the likeness of nobody other than me?
Am I willing to cut that deep? For started, I say I could start adding this 'personal' back in one at a time. For the sake of everything that is writing. My question to you, is do you really want to hear more, or was the best part of this visit was for other shit?
It's probably a bad idea
to pick up a grenade and hear if it's ticking.
Much less, driving around Prov, picking up your phone and putting it to your ear to hear if it's ringing, and then having it suprisingly vibrate and scare the living bejesus out of you.
I almost wanted to throw it out the window and have it crushed on 95.
19 July 2004
18 July 2004
Do you ever sleep in on the weekends
and then realize you feel less awake and less focused as you should?
I work, usually at a desk job, with little sleep, almost all the time. Coffee usually fixes that, and I am back to being focused and alert. Coffee is so great, I wish I used more of it when I was sleeping through high school.
But yesterday, even on a hot day, I slept in, but was still tired up to 9 o clock. On a day when I slept in, I still wasn't alert as I am on a day with little sleep and lots of coffee. It felt like my mind was on vacation.
Am I starting to think the key to energy is getting less sleep on the weekend, and getting more sleep during your work week? Maybe I'll try that sometime. Other than that, I really outta start watching how many days I don't go to the gym, because that would be just a waste right?
Don't wear lotion when it's humid
It's simple. Don't wear lotion when it's humid.
It will make you feel wet all the time. Like you had a really greasy pizza but used all of your body to eat it.
Thats what I did today, what I do everyday. But today was just an ugly day. It was humid. I can never adjust to different water conditions because weather changes so fast you can never tell. When I shower at my house, the humidty will probably sucked into the exhaust, but the hardness of the water will probably dry my skin. The easiest solution would be to just lotion up, and I did.
I only used face lotion today, but it got in my eyes. I was squinting looking at my monitor screen because my eye was wet with moisture. It's not like I fucked up, it was just humid and the body didn't sink the moisture in, so it just sat around sitting in its own moist mess.
The one thing I will always hate about summer is humidity. My body hates it. At around 4 o clock my mom asked me to mow the lawn and I did. I wore a hat to avoid having dust fall on my face, but when I went inside to wash up, I was dripping of sweat. I didn't push hard, but since it was so humid, I was just hot.
Mowing the lawn sucked. I sweated my ass off, and then I decided to go to the gym. I figured with all this anger, I could sweat it out in an air conditioned room.
At the gym, I biked 8 miles, and the gym closed down. This is the only 24 hour gym in RI, but on Sunday night is the only night they close till Monday morning. I really shouldn't have even been there, but I was.
After the gym, I went home and took a hot shower. I wanted to feel as if I left the shower the humid weather would be cool compared to the boiling I was enduring. But I still I hate humidity.
I also hate humidity and hot coffee. Really bad combination.
More sick of Microsoft
This week I was assigned to do regular computer maintenance on the machines throughout the office. The tasks assigned were to update Windows as much as possible, clean out some temp/cache, and run spyware removal programs. I thought this would last about an hour each computer, and considering there were 13 computers, I thought this would be a great time waster.
Boy, was it a frickin' time waster. The more I did computer maintenence tasks on each machine, the longer it took to download updates for each machine. Seriously, what kind of program needs updates as much as Windows? The whole idea of using Windows and keeping it updated, is such a productivity waste. It is basically a waste of state money to make sure an intern like me would UPDATE WINDOWS BECAUSE IT IS HORRIBLE FLAWED. Surely enough, I do this stuff at my other job at school, but at least at school, I know they're not watching what I read on the internet.
And then I got sick of it. The whole keeping on your toes thing about security, updates, viruses, pop ups, spam e-mail and blah blah blah. Why do I have to keep working to put a program that was well purchased work the way it should? Grrr.. even my machine at home isn't working the way I wished it too. It's my machine, but even I can't keep it optimized.
At work, my current workstation runs Windows 95. It has 128 mbs of ram. It works. This machine has never given me headaches for the two summers that I was working on it. Which brings me to believe, that if I want to be happy with a computer, should I just move backwards in time?
That question has a double edge to it. Yesterday when I was fixing Lauren's computer, we skipped her Windows ME installation disc because I would feel bad for giving her a GOD AWFUL piece of an OS. Later that day, at Circuit City, we even saw... Windows ME on clearance. $35 can get you a full install of Windows ME, but be warned, Microsoft will not support ME anymore as if it was the OS that didn't exist.
But there is a positive side to going back in time. I have been using and just defaulted my web browser to Mozilla Firefox, which is based off of Mozilla, which is based off of Netscape. After getting used to Firefox, I don't think I am going to Microsoft Internet Explorer anytime soon. Right out of the package, Mozilla or Firefox runs smoother, safer, and its built in pop up blocking surpasses any plug-in that Internet Explorer can handle.
Which brings me to believe that I should strip my computer of Microsoft alltogether, and lead a stress free life in Linux. I am seriously thinking it through. This weekend I have run two Linux "Live" CDS and I am very impressed with the speed, and automation of a Linux OS. Mostly everything should transfer over fine, but I'm afraid I'll end up hating it.
Since I was 11, I have learned in 'Microsoft'. I learned commands from the DOS prompt, programmed in QBasic, configured autoexec.bat, and remember that stupid thing called Program Manager. I have no problem tossing all of that away.
Stupid Microsoft.
I just wish everything they made wasn't such a hog.
Photo Link
STUPID NO-IP mySQL database is down.
If my photo link doesn't work and if I luckily haven't restarted try this link for a shot.
16 July 2004
The scariest thing I have heard all summer
Has come back to haunt me.
This time, new and totally different situation, different person, but same horrifying words.
Fuck this.
To the both of you, is this what you think I deserve?
What am I to say if I ever talk to you again?
15 July 2004
Some parts of you will never change
Some parts of me will not change. Some parts of other individuals will never change. But eventually some will change for the better.
Some feelings felt after reading Ode to the Nice Guys.
Thanks for the link Dave.
Because I was drunk asleep to remember
Recent UNH Grad Phil opened his website, and blog, and shared a story. This story is quite funny, considering the first time I heard it I was way too tired to wake up and answer the door.
For his publicity and the fact that he's pretty close to winning the most comments this week (kinda like Ken Jennings on Jeopardy), here is his story reprinted. But don't forget to check out his main page.
Because you were too drunk to remember it.TITLE: Phil's Naked Lap
TIME STORY TAKES PLACE: December of 2003. Last day of first semester finals. My senior year of college. The wee hours of the morning.
LOCATION: C Tower. The Gables. UNH.
CAST OF CHARACTERS: Me and Jonah (with guest appearances from: Zarbo, Mike, some other people in room 604, and two of the Durham Police Department's finest).
ALCOHOL CONSUMED: Half a 30 rack of Bud Light, 25% of a bottle of UV Rasberry flavored vodka, more anonymous beer, and a few other things which escape memory.
DRUNK-O-METER: Super blitzed
WHAT WENT DOWN: It was the last day of first semester finals and nearly everyone had left (or was in the process of leaving) for home for winter break. My dear friend Jonah and I were two of the only people from our group of misfits who were still on campus. Jonah being the party animal that he is suggested that we, "Start drinking at 5 (pm) and see where the night takes us."After several hours of drinking Bud Lights and playing the, "Simpsons Hit and Run" video game (citizens of Springfield watch out for Jonah) we made our way upstairs to room 604. It was at 604 that we ran into the familiar faces of Zarbo and Mike (others were present but I don't have the damndest idea what their names were). Now normally dear reader I am a fairly above avergae beruit player at best (By no means am I cliose to "Wendell" status.) However, after having had an (at the time) innumerable amount of beers and other alcohol fueled beverages I was about as skillful as a drunken freshman female playing for the very first time.
It just so happened that one of the "house rules" for beruit was that if you did not sink at least one cup you had to do a naked lap. My fine fellow of the beer bottle Jonah was at the pinnacle of his game that night. With fewer and fewer cups on the table my chances of having to perform a naked lap were increasing at an alarming rate. However, with three left on the table I sank one! (Which Jonah soon hit thereafter winning us the game.) Naked lap averted! Or so I thought. For you see dear reader the seed had been planted in my drunken mind. I began to think of other great heroes in history who had bared it all in the name of glory.
With these thoughts running through my mind Jonah and I went back to his room (the dorm of infamy known as 404). At this point Mr. Jonah (being quite intoxicated himself) decided to try on the trench coat of his roommate affectionately named "Sketchy" Bryan. Now that Jonah looked like a pedophile/drug dealer/rapist I told him that it was my duty as a drunk college student to streak nude around the outer perimeter of C Tower.
After the initial shock wore off Jonah agreed to play witness to this monumental event and together we embarked down the elevator and outside where I promptly stripped down to nothing but my socks and sneakers and began running through the snow to the soundtrack of Jonah's drunken laughter.
Now dear reader I assure you that my plan would have gone off without a hitch. It was 3am. Nearly everyone had gone home for Winter Break (and those who hadn't were passed out and sleeping). It was going to be just been another one of those typical drunken romps that disappear into the pages of history and are never heard from again. However, it just so happened that the ordinary suddenly transformed into the extraordinary...
I was rounding the final corner of C Tower and congratulating myself on a streak well done when I noticed the blue flash that can not be mistaken for anything but the top of a Police vehicle. Instantaneously my instincts of self preservation kicked in and I vaulted over the nearby brick wall and ran ass flapping in the wind directly into the woods. Once securely hidden in the shrubbery of the woods embrace I had time to panick. How did they know? The police must have been in the parking lot watching me the entire time waiting for the moment when I began my streaking misadventures to attempt and apprehend me! However, it would later be revealed that indeed I had been the cause of my own downfall. For you see dear reader as Mr. Jonah and I were walking out the front doors of C Tower I stumbled in the dark and placed my hand against the call box to steady myself. Hearing a voice come through I very mistakenly thought I had dialed a poor fellow's dorm. Making slurred apologies I pressed the black talk button and terminated the call. Unfortunately as it turns out, I pressed the red emergency button (also known as the "rape" button) and had been talking to an emergency operator from the Police Department.
Meanwhile, I am sure you are all wondering what had become of my companion Mr. Jonah during my time spent hiding naked in the woods. It turns out that the moment I took off running nude around the building the Durham Police showed up. Being the stalwart and loyal companion that he is his first reaction of course was to run back inside the building. However, the police stopped him before he could make it inside and were very interested to know who had pushed the "rape" button and why there was a pile of clothes at his feet. Jonah, realizing that his appearance in the sketchy black trench coat made him seem like the type who would do bad things, decided that it would be best if he were to come clean with the constables and tell them about my drunken marathon. If memory serves me correctly it went something like this:
Male Officer: Who pushed the button?
Jonah: Uh, I don't know.
Male Officer: Whose clothes are these? (suspicious glare)
Jonah: Okay, I'm going to level with you. My friend is really drunk and he thought it would be a good idea to run around the building naked.
Both Officers: (silence)
Male Officer: Are you serious?
Female Officer: Do you think that your friend could have made it into one of these buildings?
Jonah: It's possible.
Female Officer: Could he have ran home?
Jonah: I doubt it. He lives on the other side of town.
Female Officer: At least we don't have to worry about going there to look for him. Let's go check those buildings.During all of this I was at that very moment still very much in the woods and very much naked. I began to think of how I could: A. Make it to my apartment or B. Make it back into C Tower and up to Jonah's room. I immeadiatly decided that since my keys were in my now missing pants that Plan A was out of the question (Especially since the chances of running naked across town successfully seemed very slim indeed). Plan B however, seemed to have the possibility of a favorable outcome.
Back on Mr. Jonah's end he and the female officer came upon a room in one of the buildings where Jonah knocked on the door and inquired about my whereabouts.
Jonah: Ummm this is gonna sound really stupid so forget I asked you, but have you seen any naked people tonight?
Man in room: .....No. No, I haven't.
Female Officer: (having fits of laughter)
Jonah: Okay, thanks anyway.At this point I had tried several unsuccessful methods of getting back into the building. My next option was to knock on the window of an occupied room near the front door and ask them kindly to let me in. This solution proved risky though as there was the chance that they might misunderstand my reasons for being out in front of their window at 3am naked and think me a sexual predator.
I decided against this idea and went back to my wooded sanctuary. Could I stay in the woods over night and wait for Jonah to get me later? I strongly leaned to this option until I realized that a drunken naked student in the woods during the Winter season could be cause for a search party, media coverage, and my nether regions on the front page of the TNH (The New Hampshire. The University of New Hampshire paper). I decided that it was best to turn myself in so long as I could get some pants in return for my surrender.
As I wai