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The fast and slow

Several things to get annoyed at when you’re driving.

-When people rush during rush hour and beep at you when you calmly change lanes as if they called it first. There is no point in being aggressive on the road at all times and I wish RI people weren’t so rushed/ angry all the time. Those idiots who are speeding during rush hour are totally fucking up the rhythm of the road. It’s not like they are getting anywhere faster than anybody else

-It’s probably cool-looking to walk into a club all extra slow…but if you’re crossing the street really slow, not only do you look dumb, you all of a sudden start to look fat. That image of a slow motion walker is more like a fattie who just won’t move faster unless you do them a favor and throw a Krispy Kreme across the street. Do us a favor, and hurry up. Stop ‘keepin it real’.

I wish I had the power to just slow down someone’s brakes and just remind them that life doesn’t need to be rushed. My devilish side also wants to keep a dozen Krisy Kreme doughnuts in the car just so I can throw them at fat idiots.

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