Moving on out
May 24th, 2004 by Sarin
The satisfaction of finishing your last final is like a warmth. More than ever I am excited this year is over, as this year proved to be what I was really in college for compared to the 2 mickey years I have had. I have studied more, slept less, focused better than I ever have. It is also great to come back to Rhode Island since I haven’t been back in so long.
So with finals out the way, I was suprised to be the first one moved out of my apartment. It was quite funny because I was doing a item check and I almost had two of everything. Two beirut tables, two tvs, two mattresses, well you get the idea. I have enough stuff for somebody to live in my basement with more than enough amenities. (I mean it’s basically having 404c, just in the basement in my house). I just gotta really find a way to rig this TV with cable downstairs, or maybe even not (surround sound, XBOX, mini fridge, and Beirut Table are within arms reach) and then start having crazy Beirut parties cept for the fact that my parents are just right upstairs…
And being home makes you not want to write. You can be lazy, go out with your friends, sleep in, having a total knowledge drop and you will not come across any ideas to write about. It’s like you have to really want to write about something so it will come about as smoothly as the entry before this one. An entry has to develop in your head before it will ever look good on the screen. If I ever gave you a half-ass entry, it might not even be journal-esque, but c’mon this is a friggen weBlog.
I went out on Friday night, I had a job interview at 4, so when it came to party at night I did not want to get all dressed up again. I wore a tank top, shorts and sandals to a party in Narragansett. I have never shivered like that since that week long stretch of stank ass cold weather back in January. Beer helps neutralize, but it doesn’t fix shit cuz the next day I was in the shower for almost a half hour.
The next day, I got to Phil’s house for graduation really late. I underestimated the fact of getting ready because I had nothing prepared at like 5, an hour before I was supposed to be at Phil’s. I figured it would be cool to show up late, so I thought a shower would be a good time…I didn’t leave the door until 6:10, don’t ask why, I took that long ass shower and I took my usual time to pack. I can also blame the fact that you can never get alot of things done in a short amount of time in Rhode Island. I took well more than I thought time to buy a gift at Warwick Mall, a mall in the opposite direction of North (where I needed to be). Coffee, and then back to Cranston all because I knew where to get cheaper gas. I finally left RI at 8 o clock. And I really did not waste time…. at least that’s how I see it.
Being away from any home feels sort of relaxing. You just don’t worry about the life you temporarily left. Going from NH to RI back and forth leaves to thinking that the only home I ever need would be a computer of any form that gets me on AIM and access to all my music. I could be in North Dakota, but I would probably feel more at home than anyplace without it. Although this contradicts the notion I got when I spent the week in Florida. I don’t think I had any satisfaction coming home, and that I didn’t really miss home when I thought I was really more attached than I thought.
So more thoughts escape me when I am away. Albeit, I wasn’t even in NH for a day really, but I could sure give up everything and just be anywhere to just escape. It has been a long year and I get a satisfaction when people ask where did you dissappear to?
I do miss all those sexy UNH girls, but being single in RI isn’t exactly fun. It’s sketchy.
If anybody plans on coming down to visit Rhode Island, here are some pictures to get you started. Also call me a geek, but I still get excited about Providence Place Mall. Oh and Providence Nightlife.
And today, I got back into the work swing and did a day long observation of this marketing job. Which really wasn’t marketing really because I’ll get into it later.
Before this continues, I would also like add that I hate it when girls (yes girls, meaning almost all of you) think it is alright to just be quiet. If you are fucking mad, sketched, fucking say something before we go all creepy on your ass. But I see how it is, you expect us to come crawling back on our knees and then shove dirt in our face when we ask WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG. Seriously girls, nothing gets accomplished by keeping your piehole shut. Just be a bitch, say it, and we’ll get the fucking point. Heck, maybe we might even back off and be honest for once.
Being nice today doesn’t get you anywhere these days. Except for maybe a job interview, you gotta slap some ass to get anything. I can say being a nice guy probably fucked me in the head in the past year and I should never expect people to be nice in return. So whatever happened to that sensitive male type, well that crappy guy never got what he wanted. It still seems in college that high school girls never grow up, and that a nice guy like me, will never be.. more than just a friend. Or even a toss away good fool around.
I don’t regret doing anything I did this year, or holding back from anything I did this year. My mind is wary of judgements, and my first intentions was to never hurt anyone’s feelings. I like the fact that I do have self control, and you can’t tease me well at all. I do regret of course taking a second job because I thought money was important. It ended up giving me the worse two month experience in my life. I am sorry to those when I said I don’t feel like the same person because I basically sold myself out. And I am sorry to those who even had to listen to me, because if I chose not to get a second job, I would have had so much more to give. I am sorry.
So maybe in the future I should just take what I want. I should start acting selfishly because I deserve to not get hurt in the end. Yay for the nice guy.
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